It’s safe to say Eurovision fever has gripped the Paddy Power offices. That may sound like we’re all waiting with bated breath for the competition, but in actual fact it’s a serious medical condition contracted by wearing leather trousers that are too tight. Anyway, you may have seen our Eurovision statistics blog. As interesting and informative* as these stats may have been, they weren’t especially funny so we’re looking for you’re your statistics. They don’t have to be true or withstand the academic rigour of peer review, they just have to give us a good chuckle (and not trigger any lawsuits).
*stats may not have been interesting and informative
I’m thinking something along the lines of the below – only funny.
Get the thinking beret on and start scribbling, Microsoft Excel-ing, Paint-ing or Powerpoint-ing your charts and graphs. Or you could use good old fashioned words as well – along the lines of the answers to this competition. You can stick your efforts into the comments section below
send them as an attachment to email@example.com
if you fancy, send them along to me on twitter @AidanWaffles_PP.
Get your answer into us by whatever medium necessary before midnight on Sunday 15th May. The winner will be chosen by our panel of comedy experts next Monday morning and there may even be a few consolation prizes for any noble efforts that fall short of winning outright. We’ll see.
The prize will start off as a Free £/€50 Bet, but we’ll add a euro/pound for every time someone retweets this tweet using the hashtag #PPstats which should bump the prizefund up substantially. You can then take your £/€50+ free bet and stick it all on Rick Astley making a triumphant return to the limelight to win Eurovision 2012.
And here’s a list of mildly patronising (not necessarily related) keywords to get the creative juices going:
Bucks Fizz, skirts, Javine, slag, Johnny Logan, blood supply, cut off, to legs, Luxembourg, how?, Jedward, combined IQ of 6, Terry Wogan, bottle of brandy, Graham Norton, same few jokes for a decade, nul points, Jemini, Katrina and the Waves, 50 year old spinster’s soundtrack to life, Rock And Roll Kids, creepy beards, ABBA, camp foreigners, Riverdance, xenophobic stereotyping, Scandinavian conspiracy, scantily-clad Ukrainian cavewoman, awkward with your parents in the room, Dana International, Really? Could have fooled me.
– Paddy Power decision is final. Moaning will lead to a merciless mocking.
– Maximum prize fund will be €/£150 in case there’s any retweeting swindle we haven’t yet thought about.