So there I was, half-arsing my way through another week in the Paddy Power Journalists department. “Ha, ha – look at that clip of something happening in a football match. That’s mildly – but not overly – amusing. It’s perfect to stick up on the blog later this week. Oh would you look at the time 11.15am – I’d better start my 4 hour lunch now if I want to get back in time for my afternoon siesta.” I was feeling pretty happy with myself. Sepp Blatter’s legal team hadn’t been in contact after the previous week’s borderline libellous caption competition. I’d just put together a snazzy map incorporating Europe and South America for the latest edition of Who’s Career Is It Anyway?. Things were looking pretty sweet.
Then a cloud appeared on my horizon. A thumbs down shaped cloud. On my poor defenceless, Who’s Career Is It Anyway? competition? What has it ever done to anyone? Apart from wreck a few heads and seriously dent the productivity of several businesses? Yes, the map wasn’t exactly geographically perfect, but just don’t use it to plan any round the world sailing expeditions and everything will be fine. It’s like someone was giving a thumbs down to my children. Actually I don’t think I’d be as upset if it was my own fictional children, because as a responsible fictional parent, I would have had the good sense to arm my kids with nunchuks, samurai swords and the Best of Chuck Norris DVD collection for such an eventuality.
In fairness, those buttons are there so people can easily and democratically express their views on a particular blog post, so feel free to use them, but if anyone clicks on the thumbs down one again, there will be a hissy fit the likes of which we haven’t seen since Gazza was told he wasn’t going to France 98. So that makes you Glenn Hoddle in this analogy and who wants to be Glenn Hoddle?
Anyway, low budget therapy out of the way, we had loads and loads and loads of correct answers so as ever, we had to decide the winner by pulling one lucky person’s name out of a hat. The person with just the right blend of random football knowledge, access to maps and pure jamminess was Adam Moore who rather confidently told us “Roberto carlos, has to be!!” Well Adam, I don’t care for your excessive use of exclamation marks, but you got the right answer and yours was the name drawn out of the hat.
Even sticking a pin on the Caspian Sea didn’t throw many people off and as many people cut and paste from Wikipedia, old Thunderthighs’ career path saw him take his vastly overrated free-kicks from Uniao São Joao to Palmeiras across the Atlantic to Inter Milan on to Real Madrid then Fenerbahce back to Brazil with Corinthians and now he’s embarked on one last cash-grab with Anzhi Makhachkala in the Russian republic of Dagestan (no, me neither.) Sorry if I took some cartographical license by locating South American in eastern Scandinavia, but I think it did the job.
Thanks to some generous souls retweeting the competition across the whole wide interweb, the prize fund was boosted to a Free £73 Bet. Congratulations Adam, you truly are the person to be picked out of the hat this week.
We’ll have more vaguely topical blog competition fun soon.