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Daily Videos: Tour De France Special

by Aidan Elder | July 2, 2011

Syringe-fest 2011 starts today or to use it’s more common name, the Tour De France. That’s the tenuous justification for sticking up a cycling video and the tenuous justification for both of them being about a dog taking out a cyclist is the second one was a suggested video after I watched the first one on YouTube. Don’t worry, the dogs are fine and cyclists are generally so out of it they don’t feel pain.

You’ve got to love the commentary – “That dog didn’t seem to know what was going on.”
OF COURSE HE F*CKING DIDN’T – he’s a f*cking dog! He didn’t look at his doggie calendar (84 months in a year) and think ‘Oh, the Tour de France is in town today. I’d better be on the lookout for pumped up juiceheads today when I go from licking myself on one side of the road to licking myself on the other side of the road.’ And as a little addendum, there’s also the co-commentator observing that the cyclist was “lucky enough to fall into the side of the road where it’s just that little bit softer”. Yes, the tarmac on the side of the road looks like a mattress made out of marshmallows compared to the tarmac in the middle of the road. Dopes.

Here’s something similar happening in 2007, the only difference being about 30 mph.

“The people really should have had that dog under control,” is the pearl of wisdom, but again, who’s really to blame. The dog, who’s busy being a dog, or the people who decided to run a bike race through his town? This rant isn’t being helped by the fact that as I write, I’m sipping on a cup of oxtail soup that smells remarkably like a wet dog.

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