The actual race for the Premier League crown and the scramble going on beneath them has kicked up more surreal moments and drama than anything we could think up. So this week we just put them all on horses and let them have at it. Hazaar!
Who’ll win the Ballcrack Grand National? You’re going to have to watch the video to find out. We’ve also managed to get an exclusive look in to the world of Mario Balotelli. He’s a strange fruit.
WARNING: This video contains adult language and vicious, cutting parodies. The under-aged and the under-humoured should seek their entertainment elsewhere.