A players goal celebration can arguably be as important as the goal itself. An action that is copied in playgrounds and parks all over the world.
But the art of celebrating is not as easy as you’d think, and the Premier League has had its fair share of poor gymnastics and silly dancing.
Alan Shearer is not only void of interesting opinions on Match of the Day, he is also the creator of the most uninventive celebration possible. During his time at Blackburn and Newcastle Shearer would put his right arm straight into the air and run towards the crowd in a celebration lacking even the simplest amount of imagination.
The foundations of a good celebration should include excitement and drama, Shearer lacks both. The right arm was predictable and boring. Unfortunately for celebration lovers Shearer amassed a whopping 409 goals for club and country from 1992-2006, so we were subjected to the arm on a regular basis.
Here’s a belting volley for Newcastle with a naff arm celebration.
Another contender for worst celebration is former Manchester United midfielder Lee Sharpe. His goals would often be followed by the “shuffle” which is essentially like watching your uncle pissed at a wedding dancing to Rihanna. Sharpe would wiggle his hips, shimmy his feet a bit and thrust in ways that made for uncomfortable viewing for those on the front row.
Similarly Robbie Keane’s celebration which was clearly planned but ended up looking very amateur. The Irishman’s acrobatics are well known and went with him from Leeds to Spurs to Liverpool and abroad!
In fairness as a kid, scoring a real poacher’s goal and doing a forward roll in front of the school was probably golden. However it’s a big step up to the Premier League and when you’re competing in the gymnastics department with Nani and Lua Lua, Robbie Keane doesn’t quite cut it.
One of the more strange celebrations is Tim Cahill’s corner flag boxing routine. The tiny Australian runs over to the flag and pretends to trade punches with the plastic pole. Luckily Cahill boasts an unbeaten record against corner flags up and down the country so if things go arse ways at Everton there is a potential career lined up. Despite having solid boxing tekkers it is up there with one of the Leagues worst celebrations.
There is of course the problem of not expecting to score, as shown perfectly by John O’Shea. Not renowned for his goal scoring prowess, O’Shea’s exquisite chip in a 4-2 win over Arsenal at the Emirates in 2005 resulted in a look of utter surprise.
Overcome by disbelief the defender casually strolled back towards his team mates, so frozen by shock he was barely able to break in to a smile. It’s a shame as just a look of confidence and a touch of style would have made it look nonchalant and Cantona-esque.
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