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The Paddies: Our Premier League Award results

by Josh Powell | May 25, 2012

The Paddies Awards

We asked you to vote on alternative awards to celebrate 20 years of the Premier League. You voted in your thousands. Here’s what you decided…

Worst signing

Eric Djemba-Djemba (below) held off some tough opposition to be crowned the Premier League’s worst signing with 490 votes. The, ahem, lynchpin of the United midfield during the 03/04 season topped the rankings and can now put the award alongside his FA Cup winner’s medal on the mantlepiece. Andriy Shevchenko’s disastrous spell at money-bags Chelsea was a close second with the brief appearance of Ali Dia at Southampton in third.

Worst Manager

A closely-fought contest saw Ian Dowie (below) emerging as the victor with 578 votes. Dowie plagued numerous clubs during his management career including Crystal Palace, Charlton and Hull. All three have struggled to recover since the Dowie affect and none of them has returned to the top division. Christian Gross who only won a third of his games while at Spurs came in second, just holding off Andre Villas-Boas whose reputation was left in tatters after his spell at Chelsea.

Worst Team 

Derby County have picked up this award by an absolute landslide and a massive 1255 votes. The Rams, under Paul Jewell (below) had a torrid time in the 2007/08 Premier League season, picking up a measly 11 points during the campaign. Derby were relegated in March and only notched up one league win in the entire season beating Newcastle 1-0. It really was a depressing state of affairs for a side that would have looked more at home playing in the Sunday pub leagues.

Worst Celebration

Alan Shearer and John O’Shea (below) were the front runners for this award with their contrasting celebrations. Despite Shearer’s ridiculous hand in the air, John O’Shea recieved 824 votes for perfecting the bewildered look. O’Shea deserves the prize for his complete look of surprise after scoring a chip that Matt Le Tissier would have been proud of.

Worst Miss 

The £50 million man has picked up a Champions League and an FA Cup medal this year, and now he has a Paddy! Despite his big money move Fernando Torres (below) has spent a lot of the season sulking and impersonating Emile Heskey in the six yard box. His horror story in front of goal at Old Trafford tops the list of all-time misses with 1017 of your votes. The lovely tekkers to take the ball around David de Gea was unfortunately followed by a finish that makes Theo Walcott look deadly.

Worst Haircut

Jason Lee (below) now walks around the streets with no hair whatsoever, but images of that ridiculous pineapple doo are still fresh in the memories of Premier League lovers, and 794 of you thought it was the worst. David Baddiel and Frank Skinner, hundreds of fans on the terraces and the media have all been blamed for undermining his confidence, as Jason Lee failed to impress on the pitch. Incredibly Barry Venison came bottom of the poll which suggests it’s time for the mullet to make a comeback!

Biggest moaner 

Whether it is the amount of money splashed around by other clubs, the fact that football is a contact sport or the long throw of Rory Delap, Arsene Wenger (below) has had a list of complaints as long as an Arsenal injury list. Since joining the Gunners in 1996 the Premier League public has had to stomach plenty of moans from ‘Le Professeur’ with his hilarious flappy arms a regular feature on the touchline. The Frenchman topped the poll with a massive 1336 votes.

Biggest Donkey

It has been a week of up and downs for Emile Heskey (below). He may have been released by Aston Villa and left out of the England squad but he has picked up a Paddy with 1344 votes! Emile had some good competition for this award, but his inability to hit a barn door from two yards has finally paid off. As we laugh at Heskey tumbling to the floor and making a bollocks of a cross, let’s not forget how well he took that memorable goal against Germany in Munich.

Fittest WAG

Cheryl Cole has been crowned the fittest Wag of the Premier League era with 971 votes. The Geordie beauty was streets ahead of second placed Abbey Clancy and Adriana Karembeu who picked up the bronze. Ashley Cole proved he is one of the Premier League’s biggest weapons by cheating on the lovely Cheryl, but that doesn’t prevent her being voted the best looking wag ever to grace the top flight.

Worst Pundit

One of the more fiercely contested battles was for the worst pundit. Niall Quinn (below), Mark Lawrenson and Ray Wilkins were all well supported for their ability to spout absolute nonsense, but no-one came close to the eventual winner. Garth Crooks recieved 555 votes and can regularly be seen talking clichés and hyperbole on our screens without ever giving any insightful input. For that and many other offenses against punditry you voted Garth Crooks winner of this Paddy.

  • Competition winners will be notified by Paddy Power before May 27.

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