We love Wimbledon around the Paddy Power Blog office. Partially for the great tennis, partially for the excuse to put on a posh voice and pretend we like strawberries and partially because secretly we hope Cliff Richard will serenade us once more. Expresso Bongo, eh Cliff? Give us a few bars of Living Doll and a couple of vodka and Red Bulls and it will be, ya big hunk.
As much as we love the sport and ceremony of the events at the All England Club, we also like a good aul perv. Those leggy stunners in their skimpy garments groaning their way around the court – it’s brilliant. And then of course there’s the women.
In honour of the aesthetic appeal of Wimbledon, we’ve put together this Wimbledon Playing Cards game. It bears a striking similarity to another card based game you may be familiar with that rhymes with Pop Stumps. It works in exactly the same way as that game, but we were warned not to use the name by some lawyers. We’ll spare you the legal jargon, but the phrase ‘flaming plastic bag of dog poo through your letterbox’ was used.
Anyway, you might think it’s a shameless exercise in superficiality and objectification. And you’d be right. We’re so proud of ourselves.
Yes it might be sexist, but it’s sexist towards both genders which means it’s effectively ‘sexism neutral’. Plus sexism is fine when it’s in the name of having a laugh. Otherwise Jim Davidson wouldn’t remain one of the most cherished and popular entertainers in the UK. Plus, if you’re bisexual, it’s like Christmas in the middle of the summer!
Like Wimbledon itself, it features both a men’s and a ladies game.
- Print them out
- Cut them up (under the supervision of a responsible adult that may or may not be yourself)
- Deal them out
- One person names a category and the person with the card that scores higher in that category wins that round
- First person to win all the cards wins the game and gets to rub it in the other persons face for an unspecified amount of time.
Enjoy and play nice.