By Aidan Elder | Chief sports writer
What happens when an unstoppable force (with a leaky defence) meets an immoveable object (also with a leaky defence)? We’ll find out this Sunday as the teams occupying the top steps of the Premier League’s podium clash at Stamford Bridge. Chelsea face Manchester United in a game that will have more talking-points than Jim’ll Fix It.
Chelsea have been coughing up chances like a geriatric cat coughs up furballs. They allow opponents on average two more shots per game than Manchester United. This is surprising when you consider Alex Ferguson has been constantly patching up his back four and David De Gea couldn’t catch chlamydia in a brothel never mind a cross. It is less surprising when you remember that the comical David Luiz is marshalling the Chelsea back line.
Chelsea have managed to get 68 per cent of their shots on target to the 57 per cent of Manchester United. That’s what happens when you let Patrice Evra shoot.
The firepower of Eden Hazard, Juan Mata and Oscar are distinctly more accurate than Michael Carrick, Tom Cleverley and Paul Scholes. But they’re English so we’ll let them off and continue to claim England are one of the best international sides in the world.
Chelsea average about a third of a shot more on target per game than Manchester United. I’m not sure what exactly ‘one third of a shot’ is – maybe it’s one taken by Fernando Torres.
Both teams concede on average 1.2 goals a game which you could say shows that Petr Czech is a better shot stopper than David De Gea/Anders Lindegaard (delete where appropriate). Or it could mean that the opposition Chelsea have faced are just a bit more crap. That’s you Bobby Zamora.
What does all this tell us ahead of the big game tomorrow? Basically if you love goals, Sunday is going to be the best day of your life bar none. Neither team is short of attacking options and both have been pretty hopeless at the back all season. It is 13/8 for there to be over 3.5 goals and 7/2 for there to be over 4.5 net-busters.
It is a whopping 8/1 for there to be six goals or more and if you fancy a repeat of last year’s thrilling 3-3 draw you can take 35/1. There is more chance of Michael Barrymore getting a job as a lifeguard down at the local pool than this game finishing 0-0.
If the game ends in a draw Paddy Power will refund all losing first goalscorer, last goalscorer, scorecast and correct score single bets on this games.