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Things that have happened since Fernando Torres last scored

by Josh Powell | November 30, 2012

Torres sad

To say Fernando Torres has been on a dry spell in front of goal would be a bigger understatement than saying Dick Turpin was ‘quite a naughty man’. The Spanish striker used to put fear into Premier League defenders but now he’s having a harder time scoring than Ian Dowie at an FHM launch party.

Poor old Nando has been slagged so much football fans have even forgotten about David Luiz’s ridiculous barnet, John Terry’s extra-marital activities and Steve Bruce’s abnormally large head.

In a nod to new Chelsea gaffer Rafa Benitez we’ve compiled a list of facts, and all the things that have happened since Fernando last found the back of the net in the league. That was of course against Norwich back on October the 6th.

  • 803 – The number of minutes of porn each person has watched on average
  • 141,609,600 – The distance in km that the earth has travelled through space
  • 566,676 – The total hours of cat videos that have been uploaded to YouTube
  • 496,033 – The number of 100m races Usain Bolt could have run
  • 25 and a half – The number of times you could have read the Bible cover to cover
  • 14,875,000 – The number of votes Christopher Maloney has received
  • 27,000,000 – The number of babies that have been born. If you put them all on one island it would be the 45th most populated country in the world, and the smelliest.
  • 5 – The number of goals Emile Heskey has scored
  • 18,700,000,000 – The number of tweets that have been sent, most of them are abusing Fernando Torres 
  • 3,213,000,000 – The number of letters delivered to UK households.

Luckily for poor old Nando Chelsea visit Upton Park on Saturday to face West Ham. This is a team Torres has face six times and has six goals to his name. Will it be success for Torres against a familiar foe or just merely a reminder of happier times?

We suspect the latter and Paddy Power has whipped out a cracking Money-back Special if you ‘re thinking the same way.

If there are no goals in the second half Paddy will refund all losing correct score in-running bets placed before the start of the second half.

CHELWHAM-MBS

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