Yes, Norwich’s trip to Liverpool isn’t the biggest game of the weekend, or even Saturday you could argue, but it’s the one we’re covering for today’s live text commentary.
Could the plucky little ‘punchers-above-their-weight’ looking to avoid being dragged into the relegation scrap really beat Norwich? It’s just about possible.
I’ll be here for the afternoon to keep you up to date with events and sarcastic comments from Anfield, plus, if things don’t get too busy, events from today’s other Premier League 3pm kick-offs.
Liverpool 5-0 Norwich
Man City 2-0 Fulham
Newcastle 1-2 Reading
Swansea 3-1 Stoke
West Ham 1-1 QPR
Wigan 2-3 Sunderland
4.50pm: Michael Owen has scored for Stoke, but it doesn’t matter to anyone apart from Michael Owen.
4.49pm: FULL TIME! The ref puts Norwich out of their misery. Liverpool fully deserving of victory and the scoreline isn’t overly flattering either..
4.46pm: David Speedie says he was about to give Jordan Henderson the Match of the Match honours, but he can’t ‘because he’s left the pitch now’. All of 10 minutes ago?! That doesn’t make much sense to me, but Glenn Johnson is the beneficiary of the accolade he’ll probably never hear about.
4.43pm: SUB! For no real reason, Chris Hughton brings on Anthony Pilkington in the place of Robert Snodgrass.
4.39pm: GOAL! 3-0 to Swansea. Danny Graham so says Paul Merson.
4.36pm: GOAL! Reading have taken the lead on Tyneside! Adam Le Fondre gets his second of the game (less jammy this time) and although Alan Pardew has a contract until some time in the next century, he will be feeling the pressure if it finishes like this.
Manchester United loanee, Henriquez has scored for Wigan.
4.34pm: SUB! Jordan Henderson goes off to a standinf ovation and Joe Allen takes his place, not to a standing ovation.
In the crowd, Delia Smith is looking very uncomfortable. That may be down to the scoreline, but it may also have something to do with sitting next to Alan Hansen.
4.31pm: GOAL! 5-0 to Liverpool! It’s thanks to Sterling, but it may yet be given as an OG. The Canaries have one foot on the coach home.
4.29pm: GOAL! As if life wasn’t bad enough for Alan Pardew, Reading have equalised at St. James’ Park. Adam Le Fondre claims one of the most fortuitous goals of the season.
4.26pm: SUB! Lucas and Daniel Sturridge come off, and with Brendan Rodgers sniffing some flat-track bullying, Raheem Sterling and Fabio Borini come on.
Joe Cole as scored for West Ham to bring them level with QPR.
David Silva has got his second of the game against Fulham to make it 2-0 to City. It’s a lovely finish from the Spanish interntional.
4.24pm: GOAL! And the substitution has worked wonders. For Liverpool. Steven Gerrard scores a peach from 25 yards out. It goes low to the right of Bunn’s goal and this one is all over.
4.22pm: SUB! Norwich bring on Wes Hoolahan in place of Elliot Bennett.
4.20pm: Liverpool are swaggering their way to all three points here. Norwich need a miracle or failing that, a heavy blizzard that forces the abandonment of this match.
4.15pm: GOAL! 3-0 Liverpool! Sturridge scores and it’s largely down to Stewart Downing. He gets on the end of a great Downing volley-cross and does a weird little dance in front of the Kop to celebrate.
At the Liberty Stadium, De Guzman has put Swansea 2-0 up. I’ve heard of him.
4.11pm: Not surprisingly for a man who has built a punditry career on over-reacting, Chris Kamara is over-reacting. Chamakh’s chance for West Ham wasn’t that much of a sitter. It was a great chance, four yards out, but QPR had men and the keeper on the line, so it wasn’t quite a tap in.
4.10pm: That’s a lie. Apparently, Ben Davies scored. Well done if you’re a friend or family member who backed him to score first. Apart from that I have no further information.
At Anfield, Andre Wisdom threatens the corner flag with a shot after doing well to work a decent position on the edge of the Norwich box.
4.09pm: Swansea have scored, but I’m not watching it so I have no further information.
4.06pm: The mild-mannered yet inspirational bollocking from Chris Hughton seems to have had an affect. Norwich have started the second half well and fire a shot wide when they should have done better.
4.02pm: Liverpool start the second half. I also forgot to mention Glenn Johnson got a yellow card in that first half. I was too busy drooling over the Suarez and Sturridge combo that you’re going to get sick of hearing about pretty soon.
3.48pm: After the disappointment of last weekend when Liverpool played possibly their most disappointing half of football this campaign, they’ve played possibly their best half. They passed the ball nicely, created chances and generally look like they’ve much more of an attacking threat. They’re still not especially solid at the back however and the 3/1 for Norwich to score the next goal is tempting enough.
3.45pm: Suarez and Sturridge link up yet again and the English international’s low shot is saved by Bunn. The referee decides that’s enough for the first half and it’s time for Chris Hughton to pull a mild-mannered but inspirational pep talk out of the bag.
3.41pm: 3-1 to Sunderland! Fletcher with his second, smacking the ball into the top corner when the ball breaks to his 16 yards out.
3.39pm: HA HA! Commentary double entendre. David Speedie tells us Sturridge was ‘trying to hold the Norwich player off, but the midfielder just went down on him’. Trust me, it hasn’t been that sort of a game.
The chuckles nearly come to an abrupt end as Norwich cause panic in the Liverpool defence. It comes to nothing.
3.36pm: GOAL! 2-0 LIVERPOOL It’s Suarez and it’s more signs of a promising partnership developing for the Uruguayan and Sturridge. Sturridge steps over a pass, the defender buys the dummy and Suarez gets on to the throughball and dinks it past Bunn.
Elsewhere Cabaye has scored a cracker for Newcastle against Reading.
3.35pm: Henderson looks to have found his – for want of a word that doesn’t come from a Mike Myers movie – mojo. He has a good effort that bends into the grateful hands of Bunn.
3.32pm: Liverpool continue to pile on the pressure. Wisdom has a header from a corner that goes over. It wasn’t that close, but should have been closer.
3.26pm: GOAL FOR LIVERPOOL! And it’s a screamer for Jordan Henderson and I’m not even taking the piss! He lashes home a half-volley from about 20 yards out. Mark Bunn had no chance. The hosts deserve it for their attacking play, but they still look shaky at the back.
3.22pm: The commentator mentions Norwich’s last win at Anfield, but fails to talk about The Most Beautiful Girl In The World or even give us a few bars of it. Boo and indeed hiss.
3.20pm: 2-1 to Sunderland. Fletcher provides the finish to nice move from about four yards out.
3.17pm: GOAL! Penalty converted by Gardner. The guy on Sky Sports is rabbiting on about how it was harsh, but it’s not really. A Wigan player in the wall had his arms too high and it hit him. Simples. Some might say he was just protecting his face, I would say he’s getting about 30 grand a week, so he can handle the occasional ball in the face.
3.15pm: GOAL! Harry Redknapp may not like his wheeler/dealer reputation, but it’s going to stick a little more. Loic Remy has scored on his QPR debut to put them 1-0 up at West Ham.
3.13pm: Liverpool have a penalty appeal that only the fans really appeal for. Luis Suarez then runs some rings around the Norwich defenders, but Mark Bunn snuffs out his cross-shot.
3.11pm: Sturridge and Suarez combine nicely, but the former Chelsea man’s neat turn can only produce a shot that’s straight at Mark Bunn in the Canaries goal.
3.07pm: GREAT CHANCE FOR NORWICH! Liverpool have started brightly, but Ryan Bennett sends his free header when unmarked seven yards out straight at Brad Jones.
3.04pm: GOAL! Wigan have taken the lead against Sunderland. The Black Cats musical statues form of defending catching them out once again. It goes down as an OG for Vaughan.
3.03pm: GOAL! Manchester City are 1-0 up against Fulham. David Silva with the goal.
3.02pm: Liverpool carve out a chance thanks to nice work from Johnson and Suarez. Stewart Downing jumps to head the ball, then lands and then heads the ball. His effort goes limply wide.
3pm: Norwich kick off. Liverpool will be attacking the Anfield Road end in the first half.
2.58pm: Didi Hamann in ‘former Liverpool player predicting a Liverpool win’ shocker.
2.49pm: Didi Hamann is the pundit on Setanta. He hasn’t started any Twitter rows. Yet.
2.41pm: Is this sarcasm? I don’t even know. Are they expecting an answer?
Is this the beginning of the Carra renaissance? #LFC
— The Redmen TV (@TheRedmenTV) January 19, 2013
2.36pm: We spoke to Andy Gray about his predictions for this weekend’s Premier League matches and you should read it because although his assessment of gender equality in the 21st Century can be a little bit off, he’s normally pretty good when it comes to calling football matches.
2.28pm: One frequnelty peddled bit of trvia about the Artist Formerly Known As Prince, Then That Squiggle Thing and Now Prince Again is that he had ribs removed so he could perform a certain sex act upon himself. That of course is an urban myth and a complete fabrication. Just like talk of Glenn Johnson’s defensive skills.
2.22pm: It’s nearly 19 years since Norwich last won at Anfield. That was thanks to a cracking Jeremy Goss goal that the YouTube police seem to have destroyed. But cheers up, they haven’t destoryed this little ditty that was number one in the UK on that day.
2.19pm: MORE TEAM NEWS
And now that everyone has stopped analysing the Liverpool team, now we get the Norwich team which looks pretty much like a Norwich team should. They’re still without John Ruddy in goal so Bunn continues to deputise, but everything else is pretty much as expected.
Bunn, R Martin, R Bennett, Turner, Garrido, E Bennett, Johnson, Tettey, Snodgrass, Howson, Holt
2.02pm: TEAM NEWS
Liverpool have been forced into a couple of changes. Pepe Reina misses out with a thigh strain so Brad Jones gets a chance to butterfingers in goal. Martin Skrtel is on the bench which means Jamie Carragher will be struggling to keep up with the youngsters at the heart of the defence. Jordan Henderson starts with Sterling dropping to the bench and Suarez and Sturridge start a game together for the first time.
Jones, Wisdom, Johnson, Carragher, Agger, Lucas, Gerrard, Henderson, Suarez, Downing, Sturridge
I’ll bring you Norwich team news as soon as someone who knows can be arsed tweeting it.