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Manchester’s Oasis XI: The perfect team and the perfect setlist?

by Josh Powell | January 21, 2013

BLUE MOON: The Gallagher brothers have made it no secret which side of Manchester they support

BLUE MOON: The Gallagher brothers make it no secret which side of Manchester they support

By Daniel Morehead


Trending twitter topics often provide humorous distractions from mash-ups of popular topics, and one of our favourite trends of recent times was #OasisXI.

Football and Oasis just seem to fit together perfectly, don’t they? Inspired by this, we put together our #OasisXI with only players from the title-chasing Manchester teams – despite how much the Gallagher brothers would hate us for including their red rivals in our eleven.

SPACE MANCINI: Roberto and his back-room staff are chuffed to have been selected

SPACE MANCINI: Roberto and his back-room staff are chuffed to have been selected

Manager – D’Yer Wanna Be A SpaceMancini

Goalkeeper – Stop Crying Your Hart Out

The obvious choice. England and ManchesterCity’s number one, Joe Hart wouldn’t let our side down. The inspiring lyrics behind Stop Crying Your Heart Out should ensure heads don’t drop in the event of a defeat: Try not to worry, you’ll win the Capital One Cup someday.

Right Back – Turn Up The Sun Jihai

The popular Chinese full-back may not be the most talented defender to ever grace Manchester, but you know you’d get 100 percent commitment as he marauds up the wing to the rhythmic beats of Turn Up The Sun.

Centre Back – Stam By Me

Widely regarded as one of the finest centre backs to grace the English game, any defence would instantly be improved by the towering Dutchman standing at its heart.

Centre Back – Don’t Look Back Nemanja

As a no-nonsense defender who plays best when sitting deep, Don’t Look Back Nemanja is rather appropriate tactical advice, as you wouldn’t want the tough-tackling Serbian pushing too far up the pitch and being forced to chase the attackers.

Left Back – Live ForEvra

The goals have certainly been flying in for the French left-back this season, even if his positioning is often as nonsensical as Noel Gallagher’s lyrics, often seeming to be half the world away from the rest of the defensive line.

Nemanje Vidic and Patrice Evra

WE SEE THINGS THEY’LL NEVER SEE: Vidic and Evra make up half of the Oasis XI defence

Left Wing – Giggsy’s Dinner

What a life it would be if we could have Ryan Giggs in his prime once again, rampaging down the left side of the pitch with an elegance which has seen him accumulate more trophies in his Manchester United career than many football clubs have done in their entire history.

Central Midfield – (What’s The Story?) Yaya Toure

Since his move from Barcelona, Yaya Toure has become something of a one-man wrecking crew, often dominating opposition midfields almost single-handedly. His contribution to Manchester City has certainly made the dreams of Blues fans worldwide. This is has to be our favourite song title to sing in this mash-up  Go on, sing it to yourself in the office and wait as the admiring stares make their way towards you.

Central Midfield – D’You Know What I Keane

Imagine a central midfield pairing of Yaya Toure and Roy Keane. OK  you done yet? It’s understandable if you’re still salivating over what would undoubtedly be a dominating partnership combining tough tackling and pure physical power.This pairing could only be topped by Chiles and Keane.

Right Wing – Park Ji Sung In A Bad Place

The former South Korea captain has certainly been in a bad place for the majority of the season: rooted to the bottom of the table with QPR.

I DREAM OF YOU AND ALL THE THINGS YOU SAY: Probably not something anybody has ever said to George Weah

I DREAM OF YOU AND ALL THE THINGS YOU SAY: Probably not the phrase anybody has ever said to George Weah

Striker – Slide aWeah

Some might say that George Weah’s career was on the slide by the time he moved to England (apologies for that awful double-pun) but the former World Player of the Year’s natural ability and mesmerising skill makes him a dead cert for our eleven.

Striker – Rock ‘n’ Rösler

A terrific set closer of a song and an efficient finisher of a striker. With Rösler’s strength and Weah’s flair, we reckon this strike force has everything you’d want from a fictional, band-based nonsensical partnership.


Jo Let it Out

Where Did It All de Jong

Some Might O’Shea

Half A World Bebe

A Colin Bell Will Ring

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