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Free sex if Nigeria win the Africa Cup of Nations (maybe not for everyone)

by Josh Powell | February 5, 2013
HAPPY DAYS: News reaches the squad that free sex is on offer if they lift the trophy. Pic: Getty

HAPPY DAYS: News reaches the squad that free sex is on offer if they lift the trophy. Pic: Getty

Nigeria are through to their first African Cup of Nations final in 13 years after a 4-1 win over Mali on Wednesday and the Association of Nigerian Prostitutes (yes, that is a real thing) have promised a week of free sex if the team return with the trophy.

Jessica Elvis is the secretary of the ANP and apparently a huge fan of international football. She has released a statement congratulating the Nigerian team for their progress so far and urging them to go all the way.

‘We want to congratulate the Nigerian national team, the Super Eagles, for qualifying for the next round of the competition’, said Jessica. ‘We want to assure them of our usual support and partnership, we want them to bring back our lost glory in football’.

‘To show our support for the national team, we’ll be declaring one week free sex if the Super Eagles can win the trophy’.

We can’t establish whether that is free sex for everybody or just the members of the Nigerian squad, but just to be sure we have decked out the office with Nigerian flags and a shrine to Joseph Yobo.

Is free sex the extra encouragement the Nigerian team need to win their first Africa Cup of Nations since 1994? They are 4/5 to win the tournament outright.

If it works hopefully we’ll be able to persuade Kelly Brook to give Roy Hodgson a cheeky striptease if the Three Lions win the World Cup in Brazil.

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