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Grand National Betting Tactics #3: Give me something with relevance to my life

by Aidan Elder | April 4, 2013
The internet tells us that this is what all the female vikings wore

The internet tells us that this is what all the female vikings wore

Picking the horse you want to back for the Grand National is difficult. Some people like to do the painstaking hours of research and analysis while others just rock up, throw a dart at the racecard and hope for the best. No matter what tactic you choose, there’s no guarantee of success. So in honour of the various methods people use, here’s our breakdown of the ways to pick a Grand National horse. Here’s part three of a five part series that will hopefully get you closer to landing a winner.

#3 Give me something with relevance to my life

This category is fairly self-explanatory. Rifling through the form books is a pain in the ass and not guaranteed to end in success, so why not throw that form book in the bin and just pick a horse with a name that has some vague relevance to your own life? It’s foolproof and works every time. As long as you can ignore all the times it doesn’t work. Plus, you can give yourself as much poetic license as you want to justify picking the horse with that you think the universe is telling you to back and blame the pesky universe when it doesn’t work. Here’s a few options to get you started:

Weird Al

Ideal for: Alan, Alun, Alana, Albert, Alfred (slightly odd personality required)

Big Fella Thanks

Ideal for: Anyone of expanded proportions vertically or horizontally

Roberto Goldback, Rare Bob

Ideal for: Robert, Bob, Bobby, Roberto, Roberta

Forpadydeplasterer

Ideal for: Patrick, Paddy, Pat, Patty, Patricia (preferably involved in the plastering trade)

Joncol

Ideal for: John (Jon) and/or Colin

Oscar Time

Ideal for: Oscar or any grouches you may know

Swing Bill

Ideal for: William, Will, Willy, Bill, Liam, Williamena (is anyone called Williamena any more?)

Saint Are

Ideal for: Anyone who’s holier than thou

Harry The Viking

Ideal for: Harry, Harold, any Vikings you may know

Mr Moonshine

Ideal for: Any male producers of illegal alcohol you may know

Tarquinis

Ideal for: Tarquin (unlikely, but this is racing so you never know)

Auroras Encore

Ideal for: Aurora (see Tarquin)

Balthazar King

Ideal for: Balthazar (possibly only relevant if you’re a time-traveler from biblical times)

READ THE REST OF THE SERIES:

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