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Competition: Win a €/£50+ Free Bet by making sense of this gibberish

by Aidan Elder | May 24, 2013

******************THIS COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED******************

Yeah … sorry about that.

The voice to text app was especially crazy last week and despite some valiant efforts, people with one bet in particular stumping the vast majority of people.

The answers were as follows:


Tricky one, but lots of people worked it out or went very close to working it out:

The Champions League Final to be one-al at half time, 2-1 Borussia Dortmund Full-time


Easy enough – as long as you know of that famous Mediterranean principality known as ‘Michael’ :

Formula One – Monaco Grand Prix; Lewis Hamilton no to be classified


The app was going a bit mental at this stage:

George Vancouver to win the Irish 2,000 Guineas


Lots of people went for Leinster, but obviously they were in the RaboDirect Shift Final and not the Area Vap Eimear Shift Final:

Leicester to win -9 points in the Aviva Premiership final on the alternative handicap



Last, but by no means the least potentially offensive, this one. I have no idea what happened with the app to turn what I said into the absolutely insane gibberish you see above. Sorry, but don’t blame me, blame hastily made text to speech apps brought to the AppStore in a hurry without being properly debugged:

A penalty to be scored in the Celtic v Hibernian Scottish Cup Final

Yeah, I don’t understand how that happened either.

We got a lot of valiant attempts who ended up on 80% per cent, but just when it looked like the hat of mystery was going to be wheeled out to split the high number of people who had four out of five right, although came Neil Window with his second (and much better) attempt giving him a full house and as a result of his success – a Free £56 Bet.

Well done Neil. Unless you were part of developing the shitty app, I have no idea how you got that last one right. Thanks to everyone for playing and hopefully we’ll have more deciphering later in the week.


A week ago I discovered that I had bought possibly the worst app in the history of the App Store, but around six days and eighteen hours ago, I discovered  I could use it to design a competition that widespread access to Wikipedia and Google couldn’t ruin. The first edition went rather well, so wanting to push  my luck to the point where it stops or at least ends in some sort of legal case, here goes for round two.

In the pub the other night, I had a brain wave as to what bets I wanted to do over the weekend. I whipped out my iPhone (which isn’t the worse thing I’ve whipped out in a public place under the influence of alcohol in fairness) and spoke to the app, in the hope it would record my gambling genius. This was the result:

Yeah – it’s mental. And judging by the bizarre ‘Aryan’ reference in the last one, not only is the app faulty, it’s also slightly racist too. In order to counteract some of the strangeness here (in the same order as the bets) are the sports which the bets apply to.

Bet 1: Football
Bet 2: Motorsport
Bet 3: Horse racing
Bet 4: Rugby Union
Bet 5: Football

Your job is to decipher what the hell I was talking about. If you need a guide, you could do worse than checking out last week’s competition. That last one is tough. I was the one talking to the app and I can’t even make sense of the gibberish it spouted back to me. Best of luck with that one. I reckon all the others are manageable if you devote some brain power to them.

The prize starts out as a Free €/£50 Bet, but every time this competition gets shared on Twitter, Facebook, Google+ or LinkedIn (you can use the buttons below for that) we’ll add an extra euro/pound to the total. That should boost the fund rather substantially and you might win that prize, so you should definitely do it.

The winner will be whoever gets the most correct answers right (it pretty much needs to be the whole answer, not just bits of it to be right). In the event we get more than one person tied on the same number of correct answers, the winner shall be drawn from Aidan’s hat of mystery.

Get your answers in before 10am on Monday, May 27, and I’ll announce the winner soon after.

Send your answer to with the subject line ‘Stop whipping things out in public under the influence of alcohol’. The inclusion or exclusion of a subject line will make absolutely no difference to your entry.

You can use the comments section for begging for clues or general observations on life, but NO ANSWERS please. If you want to contact me, you can do so using the Twitter machine where he’s @MinistryOfGlove.

– Customers must be over the age of 18, have a valid account and not be offended by racist Speech to Text apps
– Maximum size of the free bet will be €/£150
– Paddy Power decision is final and moaning will be gleefully ridiculed in public






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