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COMPETITION: Win a €/£50+ Free Bet for deciphering this nonsense

by Aidan Elder | May 31, 2013

****************THIS COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED****************

Sorry about the not getting back to everyone’s tweets/comments over the last few days. It was a Bank Holiday weekend over in Ireland and for once it didn’t piss down with rain resulting in a few days of me cracking out the baby oil and tanning myself. I’m pretty happy with the results:


There was a lot of crossbar rattling in last week’s competition. We had loads of people ending up on four out five and not a million miles away from getting the full house. We did however have a handful of people who got the full house and they’re names went into my hat of quiz-ending mystery. Before announcing the lucky name drawn from that hat, here’s the answers:


What I said: Chamonix to win the Coronation Cup


What I said: Takudzwa Ngwenya to score a try at anytime against the British and Irish Lions


What I said: Maria Sharapova to beat Jie Zheng in straight sets at the French Open


What I said: Jadson da Silva to score first in the Brazil v England match


What I said: Charl Schwartzel to win the Memorial Tournament.

Well done if you went close. They were pretty tough, number two especially. There can only be one winner. Well actually, there can be about 50 winners, but that would mean all those winners just getting a €/£1 Free Bet and me spending all day doing admin rather than spending all day cyberstalking on Facebook. That one winner is Bill Gleeson who wins a Free €54 Bet for being smart and then lucky in the open draw scenario.

Come back later in the week for some more competition fun.


Another week, another faulty voice to text app.

It’s the same story as ever. I was out on the tear the other night (I had three bottles of Coors Light – woo woo!) and I used my woeful app to keep track of the bets that are going to make me rich over the weekend. Not for the first time, the app mangled what I said and turned it into some indecipherable nonsense:


Your job is to decipher what the hell I was talking about. If you need a guide, you could do worse than checking out last week’s competition.

They’re all pretty tough and they’re made slightly tougher by the fact I’ve had man-flu all week and the app was already struggling to understand my middle class Dublin accent.

I reckon all the others are manageable if you devote some brain power to them. In order to counteract some of the strangeness here (in the same order as the bets) are the sports which the bets apply to.

Bet 1: Horse Racing
Bet 2: Rugby Union
Bet 3: Tennis
Bet 4: Football
Bet 5: Golf

The prize starts out as a Free €/£50 Bet, but every time this competition gets shared on Twitter, Facebook, Google+ or LinkedIn (you can use the buttons below for that) we’ll add an extra euro/pound to the total. That should boost the fund rather substantially and you might win that prize, so you should definitely do it.

The winner will be whoever gets the most correct answers right (it pretty much needs to be the whole answer, not just bits of it to be right). In the event we get more than one person tied on the same number of correct answers, the winner shall be drawn from Aidan’s hat of mystery.

Get your answers in before 10am on Tuesday, June 4, and I’ll announce the winner soon after.

Send your answer to with the subject line ‘I’ve drank dishwater that’s nicer than Coors Light’. The inclusion or exclusion of a subject line will make absolutely no difference to your entry.

You can use the comments section for begging for clues or general observations on life, but NO ANSWERS please. If you want to contact me, you can do so using the Twitter machine where he’s @MinistryOfGlove.

– Customers must be over the age of 18, have a valid account and be old enough to know that this series of Star Trek movies are the first time the world has seen Star Trek
– Maximum size of the free bet will be €/£150
– Paddy Power decision is final and moaning will be gleefully ridiculed in public


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