By Paul Mallon | Wedding Fund
Sip a few glasses of wine. Discuss her Orla Kiely-inspired wedding invite designs. Sort the list. That was the plan. Get some brownie points in the bag.
Instead, my bride-to-be is now acquainted with the finer details of Carl Froch’s chin. AND WHAT A CHIN.
A recap might be helpful. Last week I decided to bet my way to a better wedding and placed two balls-out punts. Go big, or go home.
Firstly, I’d hoped Sole Power (a horse in whom the boss has more than a passing interest) could kickstart the ‘silver option’ for the wedding menu. Right now, however, horsemeat could find its way to the plates. Wasn’t even in the money in the Temple Stakes last Saturday. Zero return.
The other bet was on Carl Froch (4/9) to beat Mikkel Kessler on Saturday night. So that meant one nervy eye on the telly and one nervy eye on the wedding budget. It was a gripping bout, and a great fight. Froch landed nearly 1,000 punches on his way to a 12-round win against his Danish pal. But it was a close thing. Ask Froch’s chin. And you haven’t lived til you’ve seen your Pinot Grigio-soaked lady scream: ‘Just knock his f**king Danish head off.’ Think I’ve got her into the boxing.
That stubbly slab of Nottingham granite (Froch, not the lady) is now the difference between still planning for a respectable family wedding in Co Dublin or a cut-price Ryanair flight to Gretna Green with a few cans. Possibly on my own.
But at least there’s some money in the kitty for week two. So, here goes…
In the kitty: £72.22 (2.4% of target)
May 31 #weddingfund bets | week two
- Kildare vs Offaly. Winning margin 4-6 pts 4/1 (2 points). Kildare love to hockey Offaly, but it may be closer at GAA HQ than Portlaoise where traditional beatings have been handed out. So a tighter victory, and one without Under-21 star Sean Hurley sealed with a typical-late rally after a bagful of wides. Talisman Johnny Doyle is less certain of his starting place these days, but he’s still good enough to bang over a few against Offaly.
- Epsom Derby: Dawn Approach 6/5 (4 points). Will he stay? I shouted that to the office and they shouted back a resounding ‘meh’. Good enough for me.
- Golf: Jason Day, Memorial 40/1 (half point each way). A member of Muirfield Village (pictured above) and third at the Augusta Masters. Still, I’m not spending four days watching the golf, so just a nibble. (1-point bet).
- 1-point bet. Finger of fudge (having a nibble)
- 2-point bet. Milky Way (snack)
- 3-point bet. Purple Snack (fancy it)
- 4-point bet. Biscuit Yorkie (all over this)
- 5-point bet. Pack of Hob-Nobs (lumping on)