By Paul Mallon | Wedding Fund
One cannot marry your grandmother, son’s son’s wife, or wife’s brother’s daughter, among others.
This was a list (see below) of ‘impediments to marriage’ witnessed during some proper wedding duties this week. If having a civil ceremony, you have to agree and sign that you’re not secretly making eyes at your brother’s son’s wife, and the like.
No mention of betting, however. Phew.
The #weddingfund started with £100 with the aim of punting my way to a better wedding. Now there’s £93 in the kitty. About half my bets have come in but that’s hardly enough to pay for the band, Prison Love.
It’s the kind of form more likely to see myself on the receiving end of some.
So, at this point, there seems like just one sensible thing to do.
Withdraw that cash and put it into the real, existing wedding fund. Sensible. Grown up.
OK, that’s not going to happen.
Yes, Mario Balotelli’s winner for Italy against Mexico burned my Confederations Cup accumulator (the other three results came in) so that was a near miss. But Rashad Evans’ UFC win over Dan Henderson keeps some money in the kitty.
So as the saying goes: “YIPPEE KI-YAY, MOTHERF**KER.”
While there is quality sport on television I’m dreaming of keeping this baby alive til X Factor, at least. After reading advice from Gareth Thomas and Andy McGeady, I’m going with my gut on a narrow Lions win on Saturday morning.
Elsewhere, there was some incredible racing at Ascot during the week but pesky work was too distracting to think about wedding fund bets. So today I’m having a cheeky punt on Aidan O’Brien’s two-year-old Friendship at 2.30pm.
See you next week, and in the meantime don’t go caving to winks from your wife’s son’s daughter. Crazy world out there.
In the kitty: £93 (3.1% of target)
June 22 #weddingfund bets | week five
- Australia vs British & Irish Lions. Lions to win by between 1-12 points @ 13/10. (2 points)
- Ascot. Friendship @8/1. (1 point win)
- 1-point bet. Finger of fudge (having a nibble)
- 2-point bet. Milky Way (snack)
- 3-point bet. Purple Snack (fancy it)
- 4-point bet. Biscuit Yorkie (all over this)
- 5-point bet. Pack of Hob-Nobs (lumping on)