If you feel sorry for the Australians for their agonisingly close defeat in the first Ashes Test, inability to use the Decision Review System correctly or expecting Stuart Broad to pretend we’re still playing cricket in the 1880s, then look away now.
We’ll assume 100% of our audience is still reading and that gives us a chance to tell you about our latest sledging of the downtrodden, baggy green cap wearing egotists.
Ahead of the crucial second Test, we’ve taken sledging to a whole new level by projecting a giant image of England’s opening batsman and leader, Alastair Cook dressed as a ship’s captain onto the Oval pitch. And by ‘dressed as’ when do in fact mean ‘photoshopped unconvincingly to be wearing a Royal Navy hat’.
It makes the link between England’s captain Cook and Captain Cook, the British explorer famous for his expeditions to the continent. It’s a good pun, made somewhat better by the ‘Civilising Aussies since 1770’ tagline and due to the fact Aussies are all convicts and probably won’t get the reference.
Yes, we know the second Test is being played at Lord’s and the Oval is on the other side of the city, but security is very tight at Lord’s, so this is the best we could manage. Plus it’s slagging Australians – that’s surely a cause we can all row in behind.
If you want to get involved, there’s some playful banter and mildly offensive banter flying around on the Twitter hashtag #AussieBashing.
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) July 17, 2013
Although they put up more of a fight than we were expecting in the first Test, we don’t think they’ll get as close to victory in the remainder of the Ashes series to the point where we kind of feel sorry for the Aussies. It must be difficult to go through life with all that mouth and precious little trousers to back it up with. Then we remember they’re Australian and they’d be mouthing incessantly if the cricket spike was on the other foot, so we don’t feel so bad.