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Premier League – Live no-bullshit updates

Updates you need from the 3pm kick-offs, without Paul Merson wetting himself at every vaguely interesting moment in the game.

by Aidan Elder | November 23, 2013

Arsenal 2 – 0 Southampton (Full Time)

 (kick-off delayed by 15 minutes)

Overall: Arsenal win, but it was a good performance from the Saints. The Gunners were unspectacular but defended well and took their chances. Margin of victory is harsh on Southampton, the outcome probably not.

Major incidents:

  • Wilshere hits the posts with a lob/cross. Unlucky.
  • Ramsey’s hits the post with a cracking first time backheel flick. Good effort.
  • GOAL! Giroud scores, but it’s a howler from Boruc’s footballing skills. A must-see for MOTD.
  • GOAL! Giroud with a penalty for a foul on Mertesacker. Fair enough decision from the ref as Fonte nearly had the Arsenal defender’s shirt off his back.

Newcastle 2 – 1 Norwich (Full Time)

Overall: Good first half from Newcastle, but allowed Norwich into it in the second and were a little fortunate to hold on. The Canaries were a bit unlucky, but it was just about fair in the end.

Major incidents:

  • GOAL! Remy scores from a corner – nothing special to look at, but effective. A bit like Ant and Dec.
  • GOAL! Gouffran pokes home a rebound after a header is saved.
  • INJURY! Anthony Pilkington stretchered off with a serious looking leg injury.
  • GOAL! Norwich back into thanks to a headed goal from Leroy Fer from a corner.

Stoke 2 – 0 Sunderland (Full Time)

Overall: Sunderland’s good start ruined by Brown sending off. Stoke worth their win, but got a big boost from the red card.

Major incidents:

  • GOAL for Charlie Adam. Neat play from Stoke, Adam strokes it home low to the keeper’s right from about 16 yards out.
  • RED CARD – Wes Brown. Poyet furious. Harsh decision, but you could argue he wasn’t in control of his tackle and it was dangerous play. That’s not what I’m arguing.

  • Asmir Begovic has done a mini-Toni Schumacher on Steven Fletcher. I say ‘mini’ because Fletcher rather slipped before contact was made and ended up getting a boot in the chest. No foul or card given.
  • GOAL! Steve N’Zonzi rounds off a nice Stoke move with Peter Crouch giving a Messi-like assist (no, really). Game over. Sunderland won’t be happy.

Hull 0 – 1 Crystal Palace (Full Time)

Overall: Fairly even throughout. Both teams played equally crap. Lots of hard work, minimal flair. Palace edge it, but it could have gone either way.

Major incidents:

  • Paul McShane started the game by losing what looks like a pint of blood
  • Huddlestone hits the outside of the post with a decent shot from about 20 yards out.
  • RED CARD! Yannick Bolasie sent off for Palace, looks very harsh.
  • GOAL! Bannan rounds of a good Palace move with a tap in to an empty net.
  • GOALMOUTH SCRAMBLE – Hull have a shot cleared off the line and then hit the post in the dying seconds.

Fulham 1 – 2 Swansea (Full Time)

Overall: A fairly even contest throughout, but Swansea were marginally the better team. Fulham wasted a few good chances.

Major incidents:

  • Bent should have scored with a header from six yards out.
  • Bent smashes the post with a half volley 10 yards out. Should have scored.
  • Dyer denied by a good save with the feet from Stekelenburg.
  • GOAL! Own goal from Aaron Hughes. Pretty poor from him, deflecting a good cross into his own net
  • GOAL! Scott Parker with a belter of a shot or a lucky terrible cross that went in. Into the top corner from about 15 yards out. Definitely worth a look later on.
  • GOAL! Cracker from Jonjo Shelvey into the top corner from just outside the box.

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