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Ball of Shame Decathlon event #4: Who tops the table for least amount of shots per goal?

Today’s fast-paced Premier League leaves little room for the genuinely fat footballers of old, but when our Ball of Shame team took a look at official Premier League stats for the first half of the season, it was clear that fatness of mind persists in the English top flight...

by Josh Powell | January 7, 2014

The fourth event in our #BallofShame Decathlon looks at the players who appear only to exert themselves for a sure thing. It’s open to any player with three or more Premier League goals to their name in the first half of the season.

Below are the 10 players who’ve taken the fewest shots for each goal that they’ve scored. This sounds like a positive until you think about how many more they might have managed if they’d only bothered to have a few more bites at the proverbial cherry.

Click the players on the podium to reveal the three biggest culprits.

To put this in perspective, the average Premier League goal this season has taken just over 10 shots to produce. These guys know where the goal is: they’re just not massively excited about it being there.

It’s a second bronze medal for the unfortunately-sidelined Libor Kozak of Aston Villa. You’ll remember from Sunday that he’s one of the Premier League’s most shot-shy strikers, but when he does drag himself into a goalscoring position it usually ends well: 4 of his 11 attempts have found the back of the net.

In second place, Lukas Podolski grabs Arsenal’s first decathlon medal with 3 goals from just 7 attempts. If we had an award for ‘least active manager in the transfer window’ then Arsène Wenger would definitely be up there; unless he’s planning to dip into his war chest to address their Arsenal’s current striker shortage then they’ll be needing Podolski to put in some more vigorous performances in the coming weeks.

Atop the podium it’s another gold for Crystal Palace’s Marouane Chamakh, who’s only needed 9 shots to rack up his 4 league goals so far. Ironically, Palace have the most wasteful attack in the Premier League this season; they either need to coerce this man into more goalscoring positions or encourage his fellow forwards to learn from his languid efficiency.

Chamakh has single-handedly hauled Palace into second place in our medal table with two golds – just behind Cardiff. Check back tomorrow when we’ll be revealing the ten players who’ve spent the least time on the pitch when they’ve been prodded over the touchline.

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