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Ball of Shame report: Striking footballers and striking differences

Your latest installment of footballing shame

by Aidan Elder | January 18, 2014

We’re back with another dose of shame. This week we have a lazy footballer (who would have though), a transfer fiasco that resembles a love triangle and a serious case of the short straw.

Kenwyne Bueller’s Day Off

We have all used a poor excuse in order to get a day off work or skip a tough test in school. We don’t feel bad about. Not until the This Morning theme song pipes up and then we suddenly think going into the office isn’t so bad. Plus, at least we have the courtesy the effort to come up with a semi-decent excuse.

Stoke part-time striker, Kenwyne Jones provided no such courtesy to manager Mark Hughes last Sunday. Jones sent Hughes a text the day before Stoke were due to play Liverpool stating that he didn’t wish to play the next day. Brushing the text off as a joke, Hughes arrived to the Britannia only to find his striker was true to his word and hadn’t shown up. Presumably he was at home counting the £80,000 or so quid he earned for his week of ‘work’.

Maybe we could understand not showing up to your thankless minimum wage job stacking shelves, cleaning the bogs or writing for the Paddy Power Blog, but when you’re getting that sort of cash for not being particularly good at scoring goals, there’s no excuse. And he has a stupid red streak in his hair. Stoke ended up losing 5-3 and Kenwyne was fined a week’s wages. £80,000 a week for a striker who has scored four goals in his last 54 premier league games, time to cut your losses Stoke.

Definite #BallOfShame.

Transfer Love Triangle


The Ravel Morrison transfer fiasco is like an episode of a bad soap. Like Dream Team only without a bad actor from Barnet doing a bad Argentinian accent.

The gossip and rumours stem from Fulham manager Rene Meulensteen who worked with Morrison during his time at Manchester United. During a recent press conference the Dutch manager spoke about how he knew what Morrison wanted. It sounds less creepy in real life. Trust us.

So far so, ‘bad Hollyoaks plot’. West Ham have not taken these comments lying down and have confirmed that they will be lodging a complaint with the Premier League over Meulensteen’s statement. Like all focus points in a love triangle, Morrison himself has not said much and claims that he is focused on West Ham and playing football. It’s evident that somebody is lying and the truth will inevitably come out, it always does.

According to fans on Twitter Morrison has been seen at the West Ham training ground with a big smile on his face. That could mean pretty much whatever you want it to mean – either he’s going, he’s staying or they’re serving chips in the club canteen. We will continue to watch this one with very slight interest.


Same but different

Edgar Davids and Clarence Seedorf are similar in many ways. They’re Dutch, tenacious midfielders who spent large parts of their playing days in Serie A. Plus they were teammates at Ajax for four years.

Following their retirements from football both men have decided to dip their toes in the management pool and it would be fair to say that one of them got a better deal out of their new career choice. Unfortunately for poor Edgar he drew the short end of the stick in this particular case.

While he’s busy trying to build up his managerial reputation towards the bottom of the ladder, Seedorf hung up his boots with a couple of seasons playing in Brazil and waltzed into the AC Milan job . Following the dismissal of Massimiliano Allegri, Seedorf was announced as the New A.C Milan manager signing a two and a half year deal last Thursday.

What about Davids you say? He is currently doing a reasonably passable attempt at getting Conference side Barnet back up into the league. Hmmm … San Siro or Southport? You’re winning at life, Mr. Seedorf.


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