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Ball of Shame report: Nando’s, Big Sam Allardyce and a huge pair of tits

Social-media tea boy and all-round nice guy Charles Lorigan provides this week's Ball of Shame report

by Josh Powell | February 1, 2014

Romance is dead

The courtship of a lady shouldn’t be about taking her to fancy restaurants and buying her lavish gifts to impress her, it should be about two people enjoying one another’s company. This is certainly how the young superstar Adnan Januzaj imagined things and it showed in his casual approach to his first date with 25-year-old Melissa McKenzie.

Melissa had expected to be collected in a flashy sports car, wined and dined and treated like a real footballer’s wife; what she got was quite the opposite.

Not only was she not collected in an Italian automobile but she was forced to collect the young star and pay for parking. After spending £30 on her makeup with the hope of attending a swanky Manchester restaurant, Mellisa was distraught to hear that they would be dinning in Nandos – nothing wrong with a bit of piri-piri chicken by the way.

Considering he makes £30,000 a week it wouldn’t have hurt Januzaj to try somewhere a bit more romantic/eye-catching/memorable but he’s a young lad so he wouldn’t have as much experience wooing women like. say, a Paddy Power Blog author. Melissa went on to describe the Man Utd player as the stingiest person she had ever met.

It’s not all bad for Adnan as he may have dodged a major bullet. Any lady who is willing to speak to the paper about a date with a footballer is not to be trusted and there is a good chance that she in only after one thing, the big bucks.

Nandos were quick to sympathise with the young Albanian/Belgian/Brit by offering a gift card for his next date.

Moaning Mourinho

Jose Mourinho is one of the best managers in the world and is a hugely entertaining character but he is also a massive hypocrite. The “Special One” has on more than one occasion contradicted himself when it comes to matters such as respecting referees, medieval tactics and diving.

Luckily for Jose his reputation precedes him and since the purple nosed Scott has retired there are not many managers willing to take a swipe at Jose.

Following Chelsea’s 0-0 draw with West Ham during the week it was clear something had gotten under Mourinho’s skin. After describing West Ham’s tactics as “football from the 19th century” he then went on to joke that only Black and Decker would have got through the wall of defenders.

Shame on you Allardyce for setting up your team with a defensive mindset, away from home, against a team filled with superstars.

Let’s not forget that Mr. Mourinho has a history of parking the bus when up against it. Man United at Old Trafford and Arsenal at the Emirates come to mind, not to mention any of the times he faced off against Barcelona whilst at the helm in Madrid.

Upon hearing Mourinho’s criticism Big Sam reiterated with this well thought out statement “I don’t give a s**t”, which he shouldn’t as his team just picked up a well needed point against a title contender.

Sexism row. Episode 124

We are all aware of the Andy Gray and Richard Keys fall from grace, popular commentators turned disgraced misogynists. The two men were known for their passionate and often humorous commentary on all things football related. Adored by many pub crawler’s and bookie dwellers, and the poster boys for Sky Sports news. That was until they were recorded making some colourful comments about female assistant Sian Massey.

It seems as if the duo made more than a few unfavourable comments towards the women working in football and a video surfaced recently which only serves to reinforce the idea that these two are boys in men’s bodies.

The video itself shows the two men berating Claire Tomlinson with wolf whistles and chants. The chant itself is something you would hear in the 1st year common room of an all boy’s school and is not what you would expect to hear two grown man chanting in their place of work. Gray and Keys don’t play by the normal rules however and the two were caught on camera in fits of laughter.

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