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EXCLUSIVE: David Moyes makes a shock appearance at Liverpool

by Aidan Elder | April 27, 2014

It’s been a busy week for David Moyes. What with all the finding out he was getting sacked, clearing out his office, taking Ryan Giggs’ knife out of his back and then being linked with the Tottenham job, but Manchester United’s deposed ‘Chosen One’ still found time to make an appearance as Liverpool take on Chelsea. Kind of.

Ever the pranksters firing ideas around while we’re drunk, we’ve erected a statue of Moyes in a place where his work at Manchester United is perhaps most appreciated – Anfield.

While Liverpool’s exploits this season have been the headline for Reds fans this season, Moyes’ haphazard management of the champions has been an enjoyable subplot to the campaign, a point emphasised by the elaborate ‘David Moyes is a football genius’ banner they unfurled at Old Trafford towards the end of Liverpool’s 3-0 win back in March.

Never ones to shy away from unnecessarily rubbing salt in Moyes’ wounds a bit of banter, we gave our statue maker a call and – ta-dah – now standing proudly and rather grumpily just a few yards away from the famous statue of Reds legend, Bill Shankly outside the Kop, is 11 foot tall bronze likeness of Moyes is emblazoned with the words ‘DAVID MOYES – For services to Liverpool Football Club’. Here it is:


We’re happy with it because we think it really captures his surly moodiness. And the fans seem to like it too judging by how willing they were to stop taking selfies of themselves outside Anfield, instead posing with the ‘I can’t believe it’s not bronze’ masterpiece.

Smugly explaining his latest piece of mischief, Paddy Power came across all ‘evil genius’, telling us

The Moyes and Manchester United pairing may have had none of the magic of a drunken Tinder date, but there’s no doubt he’s the ‘chosen one’ for the Liverpool faithful who’ve also enjoyed seeing their club go from strength to strength this season. Just like Shankly, Moyes has been the icing on the cake when it comes to making the fans happy.

From the frontline of the mischief, one of our sneaky operatives reveals:

“The quote of the day came from a guy with a merch stall who asked ‘can I take him home? I need something to wipe my arse on’. I pointed out the absorbency of polystyrene…sorry bronze, isn’t the greatest to which he replied ‘you can wipe your arse on anything’. Touche Mr. Merchandise man.”

Here’s a video in case you need more than still pictures:

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