While the PFA and FA other such organised acronyms focus on who’s been quite good this year and hand out awards accordingly, we went the opposite direction. Of course we did.
Instead of celebrating the great and the glorious, we’re shaming the thugs, dullards and anyone who brings the beautiful game in to disrepute in our first #BallofShame awards.
We allowed our twitter fans to vote for this season’s Premier League Grand Prick (overall winner), the Lee Bowyer Thug of the Year, the Joe Kinnear Award for Managerial Excellence, the George Weah’s Cousin Award for Worst Player of the Season and the Michael Owen Award for Dreadful Commentary. See below for the results.
Grand Prick Award:
The Cardiff owner hasn’t exactly enamoured himself to the fans. Changing the colour of the home-strip from blue to red was pointlessly annoying for Bluebird fans, as was the rest of his re-branding. However the build-up to and the sacking of Malky Mackay, when he was doing a perfectly acceptable job has led many to believe that Tan is a bit of a knob. He tried to redeem himself by hiring former Manchester United star Ole Gunnar Solksjaer but that looks set to result in relegation.
Lee Bowyer Thug of the Year Award:
An argumentative egotist maybe but a violent thug? Alan Pardew’s headbutting of David Meyler was far more shocking because he’s a manager. He’s supposed to be the grown-up. This act of madness seems to have pushed him even closer to the edge with Newcastle fans increasingly voicing their displeasure. When people who punch police horses think you’re a thug, you need to take a right good look at yourself. Though if Pardew looked in the mirror he’d probably nut himself.
Joe Kinnear Award for Managerial Excellence:
Poor aul Moyes. All he wanted to do was be like Sir Alex Ferguson. He had the accent, the dour look and his own watch. Alas he lacked all the other stuff needed and quickly lost the dressing room. Playing predictable and uninspiring football means the defending champions will miss out on the Champions League for the first time since 1996. He simply couldn’t handle the pressure, the abusive sky messages or Ryan Giggs stabbing him in the back.
George Weah’s Cousin Award for Worst Player of the Season:
With no research we can guarantee that Tom Cleverley and the phrase “future England captain” have been coupled far more than his talent or performances warranted. So basically it happened more than once.
He certainly didn’t shine under David Moyes and depending on who takes charge he could find himself moving on in the summer. He’s not the worst player in the league but the gap between the hype and the reality is the reason why he won this award.
Michael Owen Award for Dreadful Commentary:
How Michael Owen didn’t win this award is astounding. We named it after him we were so confident. Andy Townsend isn’t exactly undeserving but he didn’t beat Mr Owen by much. Tedious, uninsightful, unnecessarily hyperbolic and dull. Is how we would have described pretty much every commentator you lot voted for.