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World Cup 2014 – A spoofer’s guide to … Honduras

by Josh Powell | May 22, 2014

Fun Fact

It rains fish every year in Yoro, which is in central Honduras. This is an annual phenomenon that has been happening for more than a century and the local people hold a festival and carnival to celebrate.

Wikipedia Fact

Not only do kids get gifts at Christmas, but in Honduras you would also receive presents on September 10 as this is the day of the Honduran Child. It’s a lot like Fathers’ Day, but filled with kid’s toys rather than a bottle of whiskey, a stripy tie and a man who resents every part of his life.

National Hero

American left-back Jonathan Bornstein. The defender’s header against Costa Rica in the fourth minute of stoppage time made it 2-2 in the final qualification game, and although it didn’t mean anything to the USA, it guaranteed Honduras’ place in Rio. The country had been torn apart by a political coup but Bornstein’s goal united thousands as they partied on the streets, and interim president Roberto Micheletti declared the following day a national holiday.

Micheletti was the president after an army-backed coup and arranged a parade in front of the palace so that he could pose for pictures with the players and the country could celebrate reaching the World Cup finals for the first time since 1982. He also offered Bornstein and all-expenses paid trip to a resort island called Islas de la Bahia and said ‘We’ll bring this gringuito who scored on the header, he doesn’t need a visa to come here to Honduras.’

Football Pedigree

When your first ever international match ends in a 10-1 defeat to Guatemala, you know you’re probably not on to a good thing. That defeat in 1921, remains Honduras’ biggest ever defeat, however things haven’t improved too much since then. La Bicolor have qualified for two World Cups previously – in 1982 and 2010 – but on both occasions they failed to win a single game.

Honduras’ greatest achievement was making the final of the 1991 CONCACAF Gold Cup in California. They held the US to a 0-0 draw but were eventually defeated on penalties. The nation can boast of three Copa Centroamericana wins and three Central American Games victories (including 2013). However we’re not in the business of counting tournaments played between popular holiday destinations were the centre-back also runs the bingo at three of the resorts during the week.

Acceptable National Stereotype

Hospitable, welcoming and friendly people who are known for their organisation and management skills

Unacceptable National Stereotype

Almost certainly manipulative, unsympathetic criminals who help transport drugs between Columbia and Mexico

Don’t be surprised if…

They score less than two goals on their way to being dumped out in the group stage

Odds to win World Cup 2014: 3000/1

If the ultimate underdog takes your fancy then bet on Honduras here. Alternatively back someone that actually has a chance of winning in the same place:
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