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World Cup 2014 – A spoofer’s guide to … Spain

by Josh Powell | May 22, 2014

Fun Fact

The traditional Spanish food paella is based on the traditional English pie. When introduced to the country in 1361 a misinterpretation led to rice being used instead of pastry, the muppets. Now the people of Spain are stuck eating a mush of rice and vegetables rather than tucking into a mean steak and kidney feast.

Wikipedia Fact

On May 15th every year, all the single women in Madrid visit the chapel called Ermita de San Isidro to prick their fingers with pins and put the blood in a vessel, in order to find a husband. Presumably this is more successful than falling around Tiger Tiger, dancing to a 5ive megamix after your third Sambuca shot.

National Hero

Spain’s legendary hero El Cid (Rodrigo Díaz de Vivar), a nobleman from the 11th century, is still revered as a great Spanish patriot. But seeing as there was no nation of Spain to be patriotic to when he was alive we’re not so sure how that works out. What is clear is that he was a skilled and courageous military leader with many noted victories to his credit. Though he did fight on various sides throughout his life, depending on the circumstances of the time, so there’s clearly nothing wrong with switching horses when you think you’re on to a loser. Christians claim he helped banish the Moors from Spain when in fact he served Moorish leaders for 10 years and his moniker El Cid is a derivative of the Arabic word for lord.

He did have a feared warhorse called Babieca, which is pretty cool.

Football Pedigree

Recently pretty much awesome, but before 2008 they were massive underachievers. They kicked off in August 1920 with a 1-0 win over Denmark but then thanks to a pesky Civil War and World War II they didn’t get much football in until 1950. In that tournament they finished fourth and then in 1964 they won the European Championships on home soil. The next 44 years were shockingly poor considering the wealth of talent generated by the country, but then everything changed in 2008 when Luis Aragones guided them to another European Championship.

The 2010 World Cup followed and then they won Euro 2012 as well, becoming the first side ever to win three major tournament wins on the spin. They were undefeated in 35 games between November 2006 and June 2009 which is a pretty nice line on the CV, and currently hold the number one spot in the FIFA World Rankings.

Acceptable National Stereotype

Fiery, passionate and a little bit mental. Seriously, running with Bulls through narrow streets?

Unacceptable National Stereotype

Lazy and they only send their noisiest children on student-exchange every summer.

Don’t be surprised if…

They reach the latter stages without playing a striker and refusing to play any pass other than one that is on the floor and travels less than 12 yards

Odds to win World Cup 2014: 13/2

To have a punt on Spain head over this way by playing a bit of tika-tappa with your mouse/phone/tablet:

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