It’s not easy being this amazing. We get some sunburn in some very uncomfortable places on account of the sun shining out of our arse. It’s a tough life. And don’t get us started how hard it is to fit our massively inflated heads through standard size doorways.
The World Cup is nearly upon us and because we’re trying desperately hard to win your acceptance, we’re bringing out a whole range of generous offers that we hope will meet with your approval. Set your facial expression to ‘gobsmacked’ and prepare yourself for a couple of minutes of the best overusing of the word ‘special’ you’re ever likely to read because here they are:
World Cup Outright Free-Bet Special
This one runs until the start of the World Cup so stop cyberstalking your ex and get on the case.
Place a £10/€10 bet on the World Cup Outright Winner market and get a £5/€5 free bet on the first game of the tournament. Woohoo. And that first game of the tournament is Brazil v Croatia. Samba style versus pragmatic eastern European technique and industry!! Can’t you just feel the excitement building in your body?? At least we think it’s excitement. It could also be food poisoning.
World Cup Top Goalscorer Special
The race to be the Top Goalscorer is one of the most hotly contested of the World Cup. That and the competition to be the BBC’s least insightful pundit which they seem to provide every four years.
In honour of that, we’ve got a super little special. Place a £20/€20 bet on a player in the World Cup Top Goalscorer market and get a £5/€5 free bet every time he scores.
It’s great. So if you back let’s say, Fernando Torres to be World Cup Top Goalscorer, we’ll give you a £5/€5 Free Bet every time he scores meaning you could land as much as … an extra £5/€5 across the whole tournament when he nets an inconsequential goal in the 3rd/4th place playoff.
England v Peru Money-Back Special
It’s not quite the World Cup, but it could provide an underwhelming England performance against opposition they’re expected to beat so in that sense, it’s very like a World Cup. Either way. we’ve got a great Money-Back Special.
If Steven Gerrard scores anytime, we will refund all losing First Goalscorer, Last Goalscorer, Correct Score & Scorecast singles on the match as a free bet.
Italy v Ireland Double Odds Special
Yeah we know Ireland have about as much chance of turning up at a World Cup as Elvis riding Lord Lucan piggyback eating a dodo burger and washing it down with unicorn milk, but Italy are going to be there and they’ll be playing England.
If your First Goalscorer scores again at any time, we will DOUBLE your odds.