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World Cup 2014 – A spoofer’s guide to … Belgium

by Sean Goff | June 3, 2014

Fun Fact …

Almost 90 per cent the world’s raw diamonds are bought/sold, polished or distributed through Antwerp.

Wikipedia Fact …

Belgium is officially the most boring country in the world.

National Hero

And just to underline the fact their most famous person is a) an adventurous youth who b) doesn’t exist. Georges Remi created the boy reporter Tintin and his dog Snowy who first appeared on Jan 10, 1929, in a comic called Le Petit Vingtieme.

Never one to dodge an adventure, Tintin denounced the Communist Party in Russia decades before Ronald Reagan implored Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall and even landed on the moon in 1954, 15 years before US astronaut Neil Armstrong.

Unfortunately for Belgium there’s no record that the now 85-year-old covered any World Cup wins for his country.

Football Pedigree:

With a host of Premier League stars in the line-up Belgium could be mistaken for England’s B team or more likely their A team as they recorded seven wins on the bounce to top Group A and qualify for their first World Cup finals since 2002.

Coach Marc Wilmots reached the semi-finals as a player at the last South American World Cup in Mexico 1986 and his side have shot up the FIFA rankings.

One of the most capable squads in Europe, World Cup 2014  may come a few years too early. Star striker Christian Benteke misses Brazil through injury. Edin Hazard is no longer the golden boy at Chelsea while Marouane Fellaini …

The big plus though is a handy looking Group H draw alongside  Russia, South Korea & Algeria. 

Acceptable National Stereotype

Sophisticated, urbanites, with a proud cultural heritage

Unacceptable National Stereotype

Boring, waffle-eating, French wannabes

Don’t be surprised if they

Underperform, despite being touted as the new ‘Spain’ in waiting.

Odds to win World Cup 2014:


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