You win some. You lose some.
As whispers appear in the media about a Paddy Power deal with Luis Suarez, we thought it only right to set the record straight.
In our never-ending quest to have the LOLZ, do some ROFL-ing and other trendy acronyms we don’t fully understand, we thought we would approach Uruguay’s most famous cannibal with a deal. And by ‘deal’ we do mean ‘a bag of cash that he would get for doing something that made us laugh’.
We wanted him to wear this special Paddy Power mouthguard during the World Cup. Ha!
Can you believe it? A mouthguard?? For Suarez? Who bites people! We’re such mischief makers.
We’re not doctors, but this was, of course, an injury-prevention measure to protect fellow players like the Italian defender Giorgio Chiellini.
Negotiations with Mr Suarez’s peeps go back to July 2013 (after his second biting incident, the one on Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic). The people involved showed us communication between both parties confirming this. They also showed us a video of a dog moving a wheelie chair close to a table to get some bacon. That was less relevant, but still quite entertaining.
Suarez chewed it over
How close did we come to pulling it off? Well, we wanted a reveal during the national anthems before the Uruguay v Colombia match in their Round of 16 game. Luis chewed it over for a while, but FIFA’s pesky rules and regulations meant this slice of mischief pie was always going to be difficult to cook.
It’s not the most original joke over and yes it was a chance to score some publicity, but don’t get angry at us – it’s not as if we tried to eat anyone.
Watch this space though…