It’s all I can do not to make some Top Gear-esque Speedy Gonzalez jokes or to drag this down to the level of sexual innuendo. Okay it’s more a thumping hangover than a sense of decency which is keeping the acerbic humour at bay but I digress.
Here is Gustavo Ramírez of Mexican side Mineros de Zacatecas scoring just four seconds into their second division match against Necaxa. The Paraguayan set a new national record with this cracker from just inside the opponent’s half but his rapid firing still comes in two seconds behind the world record of two seconds, held jointly by Vuk Bakic and Nawaf Al Abed. [Insert joke about premature ejaculation here]