For a split second I found myself wondering why the Illychivets defender didn’t pin Luiz Adriano for the required three seconds to secure the win and the middle-weight intercontinental belt. Then I remembered this isn’t a f**ing wrestling match. However it was played in Ukraine so there is the possibility that football has become their capouera. A cleverly disguised martial art which will be used to surprise Putin once the short-arse despot admits he’s invading the Ukraine.
More astonishing than the fact that Oleksandr Chyzhov thought he’d get away with knocking an opponent unconscious with a brutal blow to the chin is that he totally did get away with it. The referee only gave him a yellow card due to the implementation of warzone rules. His head is still attached to his shoulders right? F*ck it he’s fine, there are people in this country with missing bits because of the war and extra bits because of Chernobyl, he should count himself lucky.
Shakhtar Donetsk went on to win 3-0, Adriano went home with a sore head and we got this entertaining GIF.