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Luis Suarez v Bear v Shark v Zombie v Dracula: Who is more deadly?

Suarez may have more goals, but how dangerous is he to mankind? And how many major movies has he been in?

by Josh Powell | October 22, 2014

There is no bigger match to welcome Luis Suarez back to the footballing stage than the El Clasico. The striker signed from Liverpool to Barcelona for around £70m in the summer, but has had to watch from the sidelines so far after getting handed a four-month ban for having a nibble on Giorgio Chiellini during Uruguay’s World Cup match with Italy. This was Suarez’s third biting-related offence in four years, and with Halloween around the corner, we decided it would be best to investigate just how Suarez matches up with other creatures that bite.

{Click or tap on the infographic to enlarge it}

Luis Suarez v Bear v Shark v Zombie v Dracula: Who is more deadly?

A big thanks to Leo Kellenberger in PP Design for this top class mini-infographic 

Unfortunately for Barcelona’s megastar, he is well behind in terms of number of attacks with just three. The good news however is that he is just 62 attacks behind Zombie and Suarez has averaged an attack every 16 months, whereas Zombie is an attack every 11,449 months. If Suarez could manage to double his current rate-of-bite he should catch up with Zombie in the next 41 years. Everybody is well behind Dracula however who managed an impressive 100k attacks in just a six-year period across Europe between 1456-1462. Prolific.

Suarez also has to deal with having the smallest gnashers, however at least they aren’t rotting like Zombie’s. Shark leads the way here with 75mm teeth, closely followed by Bear who packs a mean bite courtesy of his 55mm beauties. Suarez’s most recent attack came in June 2014, but Bear laid down a marker with four fatal attacks last month in North West America. Dracula has been the least active, with no recorded attacks since 1462, while the most recent Zombie attack on European soil was 54 years ago in Russia according to Zombiepedia.

Luis Suarez Uruguay resize

There is yet to be a major movie released featuring Suarez, so this is another category where he struggles. Zombie has mass appeal featuring in more than 2,300 films, closely followed by Bear who has popped up in more than 1,000. Dracula has racked up 299 big screen appearances, and despite the success of Jaws and Sharknado, Shark can only boast of 119 red carpet events.

Where Suarez does lead the way is in career goals. He has 220 in his club career with the majority of them coming when he was at Ajax (111) and Liverpool (82), and another 40 for Uruguay. He is 11/2 to open the scoring in El Clasico and 13/10 to score at anytime for Barcelona. He’s likely to be chomping at the bit after four months off and is a tempting 7/1 to score two or more goals in the game, and 18/1 to kick-start his Barcelona career with a hat-trick against Real Madrid.

There are no odds available on the other guys.

  • Can Suarez bite back against Real Madrid? Get your teeth into the latest odds here: Desktop | Mobile

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