Longer than it took Steven Gerrard to get sent off, Harry Kane scored with his first touch after just 79 seconds. 50 more touches and he’ll equal Bobby Charlton’s England record.
But it’s only Lithuania so let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. Michael Caine would have scored against that lot. The Italian Job is where we’ll get a better glimpse of ‘Harry Kane – The International’.
The man whose Dad hails from the West of Ireland, is now England’s hero, saviour and in true tradition, has been built up to be the greatest footballer who ever did live. 11,487 tweets were sent out in the minute that Kane scored. Obsessed much?
— Martin (@MPH1982) March 28, 2015
Look, we can’t predict the future. But using a complex system of levers and pulleys… and historical records, we can try to make a good guess at how it may turn out for young ‘Arry.
Of the 14 players to have scored 25 or more goals for the Three Lions, only seven of those scored on their debut: Bobby Charlton found the target in his first match, as did Jimmy Greaves, Alan Shearer, Vivian Woodward, Tom Finney, Nat Lofthouse and Steve Bloomer.
But let’s give Kane the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s going to be better than Francis Jeffers, Kieran Richardson and David Nugent. To be fair, any man that can turn Spurs from Bale FC into Kane FC deserves that at least.
Looking at important debuts and not necessarily just England debuts gives us these fine fellas:
- On his Champions League debut, Wayne Rooney netted a hat-trick in a 6-2 hammering of Fenerbahce. Now captain for both club and country, Rooney is aiming to go on top of the all-time scoring records for England and United. Just like that time with the Granny.
- Alan Shearer is another English chappie who scored on his full England debut. I think he ended up as the Premier League’s all-time top scorer or something? Nothing major.
- Robbie Fowler made his Liverpool debut back in 1993 against Fulham. Fowler managed to nick one in the first leg and then decided to bang in five goals in the second leg at Anfield. Not bad.
- Paul Scholes donned the United jersey for the first time against Port Vale in 1994. He scored both goals in that game and went onto much greater things like doubles, trebles and writing for us. He also should’ve been on the plane to Brazil for the World Cup Roy. Twice their age? Twice their ability.
- All aboard the Ballon d’Or bandwagon! Cristiano Ronaldo comparisons anyone? Ronaldo scored a penalty on his La Liga debut in a 3-2 win over the seductively named Deportivo la Coruna. He’s been a bit ‘meh’ since though – 208 goals in 190 games for Madrid.
Next up for England and Mr. Kane is a friendly with Italy so we’ll see how he’ll perform against a slightly better team. But listen bud, there’s no pressure at all. It’s not like the whole of England will be scrutinising your every move. Kane starts tonight so at 8/1 to score first and 3/1 to score anytime – Printing money.
At the moment though, Harry Kane’s life is a cross between ‘Roy of the Rovers’ and ‘Goal’, and it’s been written and directed by 10 year old Harry Kane. Surely a pop star girlfriend is next?