Back in October it ended as a draw with not too much to talk about. Chelsea were bankers for the title and United were still struggling to find their way.
But fast forward to April and the Red Devil swagger is back. The Gaalacticos are even starting to bear down on top spot following a few swashbuckling expeditions of late.
— Yakatak Football (@YakatakFootball) April 14, 2015
Chelsea are still the benchmark though, so we’ve decided to do a very traditional analysis of both sides and find out who the top dawg is for the 2014/15 season.
Five Topics, ten quotes… It’s only appropriate that the topics are all about the most important thing – themselves. Who’d have thunk it eh?
Ladies and gentlemen, put your head between your legs and kiss your giblets goodbye, this is going to be a wild ride – We’ve got an Ego Off.
Topic One – Themselves
Louis van Gaal: “Congratulations on signing the best coach in the world.” This wasn’t when he signed for Man United, but when he signed his first ever coaching contract. His FIRST.
Jose Mourinho: “Please don’t call me arrogant, but I’m European champion and I think I’m a special one.” His now infamous introduction as the new manager of Chelsea.
Verdict: A tie here. Cocky blokes the pair of them!
Mourinho 0-0 van Gaal
Topic Two – Themselves
Louis van Gaal: “Louis van Gaal has nothing more to learn.” Later that year he failed to qualify for the 2002 World Cup with the Netherlands.
Jose Mourinho: “I am Jose Mourinho and I don’t change. I arrive with all my qualities and defects.” This was when he was unveiled as the Real Madrid coach in 2010.
Verdict: Good man Louis.
Mourinho 1-0 van Gaal
Topic Three – Themselves
Louis van Gaal: “To succeed Spain has to sign Louis Van Gaal. I would win the World Cup.” So in case some people in this room may not know, Spain went on to win Euros in 2008, the 2010 World Cup aaaand the Euros again in 2012. With no help from van Gaal.
Jose Mourinho: “You can’t win the treble every season. But I’ve done it twice and I think twice is quite a lot.” Classic Mourinho modesty.
Verdict: van Gaal is most definitely not a fortune teller, he’s looks more like a Voldemort… or wait! He looks like a thumb.
Mourinho 2-0 van Gaal
Topic Four – Themselves
Louis van Gaal: “I have achieved more with Ajax in six years than Barcelona has in one hundred years.” He said this just after becoming coach of Barcelona in 1997.
Jose Mourinho: “Barcelona have a great club. But in 200 years of history they have won the European Cup only once. I have been managing for a few years and I have already won the same amount.” So said Jose in 2005. Barcelona then went on to dominate with tiki taka for the next few years, winning all around them…
Verdict: Mourinho hands it on a plate to LVG here.
Mourinho 2-1 van Gaal
Topic Five – Themselves
Louis van Gaal: “I once dropped my pants in front of the entire squad. Because I wanted to make clear: when I make a substitution, I don’t do so for my own ego, but for the sake of the team.” Van Gaal eh… clearly not afraid to drop a big player.
Jose Mourinho: “My history as a manager cannot be compared with Frank Rijkaard’s history. Pfft. He has zero trophies and I have a lot of them.”
Verdict: Balls literally win you matches. Obvious statement of the year right there. But really there’s only one winner here.
Mourinho 2-2 van Gaal
So this ends in a draw. A 2-2 between these two is 13/1. The extra guac is on you!
Don’t know about you, but we’re looking forward to the pre and post-game press conferences just as much as the 90 minutes on the field. Here’s hoping for a thriller.