Sometimes controversial, sometimes divisive but always immensely talented. It’s safe to say that Kevin Pietersen doesn’t get fanmail from all corners of the world, but there’s no doubt that he commands attention – whether it’s at the crease or elsewhere.
The Top Runscorer of the 2005 Ashes series has been omitted from the current England squad but in an attempt to keep his eye in by racking up the runs, he has signed for Filchester Village Cricket Club. He invited us down for the day and we took the opportunity to speak to the England legend about the hosts’ chances of wiping the smug grin off the visitors’ faces.
Our insider at the shoot told us:
I know he’s a cricket legend and he was playing against a team of codgers but watching KP at the crease was impressive. Every ball sailed over the boundary for 6. People ran to move their cars from the hail storm of cricket balls. Unfortunately we couldn’t move the pavilion. Our insurance premium might get a little punchier because of the amount of dislodged tiles and broken windows.
There were also some kind words for the good people of Filchester Village Cricket Club who surely must sit back and wait for the Best Supporting Actor Oscars to come rolling in:
Our team of oldies were a lovely bunch. Together they had an average age of 753, which is about as many runs as KP scored at the crease during the afternoon. One gentleman showed his age when he complained “the problem with Google is that it’s terribly complicated” but they were impressively courageous. As I got in the foetal position, scared shitless that KP would lodge a ball in my skull, they were queuing up to bowl at one of the most powerful batsmen of recent times.
On the old t’internet, the video went down a storm, with people saying loads of nice things about KP:
@paddypower what a bellend
— TrueBlue (@CescualAssault) July 6, 2015
No actually, there were some nice things said:
— Gavin Hardy (@gavphotography) July 6, 2015
And of course there was the real question on every hardcore cricketer’s lips:
- For more KP goodness, read what he has to say about Joe Root needing to step up to the plate to give England any chance of landing the Ashes