The GAA championship season may be coming to a climax, but with just semi-finals and finals to be played, it means fewer games to be watched and debated endlessly. The relative drought is most noticeable in the Paddy Power marketing department, where the levels of arse-scratching and wondering how to pass the time until the next free bar rolls around have reached epic heights.
With the ‘favourite biscuit for dunking?’ and ‘best Police Academy movie?’ (number 5, Mission To Miami obvs) discussions well and truly exhausted, the shite-talking turned to ‘Who is the most attractive GAA players out there?’ A few of the big names were thrown about, but then they noticed it was 11am and therefore lunchtime so they decided to ask the experts – 1,000 random American women with no vested interest in the GAA and therefore no bias related to fame or actual talent.
And now we can officially reveal that the most attractive GAA player in the country is…..
Imaginary rock-band drumroll please….
Shane Durkin of the Dublin hurlers, who narrowly edges out, Westmeath footballer, Paddy Holloway and Eoin Cadogan of Cork’s ‘We would have won the Championship except for the referee and being a bit shite’ footballers.
Shane was obviously delighted with the honour. And very confused.
When I was first contacted by Paddy Power I initially thought it was the lads playing a prank on me. However when I was assured it wasn’t, I was quietly delighted and chuffed. The great thing about winning this award is that I’ve been able to donate the prize money to something close to my heart the Cian Durkin Foundation. We set this foundation up as a family some years ago after I lost my nephew Cian to cancer.
Of course in Ireland being voted the most beautiful man in the GAA is going to get a reaction in the dressing room.
I’m sure the Dublin lads will give me plenty of stick once they find out. However it’ll be nothing that I’ve not heard before. They already give me plenty about taking to long to get ready after games and training. There’ll be a few of them upset it wasn’t them who won. Especially the younger guys who have plenty of notions about themselves no more than Mr Danny Sutcliffe! So by winning this award it’ll put lots of them back in their boxes!
Now obviously, Shane isn’t the most well-known name in the GAA and there are a few alleged heart-throbs who’ll be sobbing into their Mikasa gloves. What do you mean where’s Aidan O’Shea? He’s 167th!!! And your precious Bernard Brogan? 42nd!!! HA! Take that Dublin. Hurler of the year 2014, multiple All-Ireland winner and All-Star, 199th on the list. Sorry Richie Hogan can’t have it all. Here’s a sortable table you can play with to see the Top 100.
|30||Peadar Óg Ó'Gríofa||Galway||Football||6.32|
|87||Michael Darragh MacAuley||Dublin||Football||5.72|
While Dublin and Kilkenny may be among the top dogs in football and hurling they aren’t topping the leaderboards for beauty. When it comes to looking at the attractiveness of the teams overall, Dublin come in at an average fifth place, but Kilkenny are counting their blessing that being good looking doesn’t win you an All-Ireland. They have to make do third last at tenth on the hurling table. Galway’s footballers are ranked as the foxiest footballers, while inspired by Shane Durkin, Dublin are the hunkiest hurlers and second overall.
Further down the table, Tyrone echo the sentiments of their footballing style of play with their looks. Less than handsome shall we say after our American sisters voted them the least attractive. Poor old Sean Cavanagh. An All-Ireland semi-final might perk him up.
Mickey Harte’s men shouldn’t feel too self conscious. All the successful teams are languishing down the table of looks. Dublin footballers are seventh, Kilkenny 10th, Tipperary hurlers 13th and Kerry 14th. Strangely enough Mayo are 33rd and they couldn’t win a game of Snap against a toddler if it was labeled a ‘final’, but I suppose they’re the exception that proves the rule.
Just for shits and giggles, the women were asked their age, marital status, education level, ethnicity, hair colour, whether they were happy with their weight, whether they had any cosmetic surgery and whether or not they thought 9/11 was conspiracy. We only used headshots and no shots where you had Joe Canning with his shirt ripped off, rose in mouth and leaning on his