We’re not ashamed to admit it. The members of the Paddy Power Persons Who Write Good department are jealous of our colleagues down the corridor commendably running the Paddy Power Games operation.
Their youthful energy; their trendy haircuts; their ability to pretend an anonymous office building in south Dublin has all the thrills of a sex, drugs and gambling binge in Las Vegas.
That jealously towards the casino community wasn’t helped when we heard news of a stunning £2.2 million win for one of their customers over Christmas. What? 2.2 million? Actual British pounds? And not Monopoly money, Wizarding Knuts, Euro or some other made up currency? Wow.
The winner is a Scottish man who goes only by the initials CR. Woooo – mysterious. We wonder who it could be? Keep your eyes peeled for someone wearing expensive new clothes, driving a fancy new car or trying to woo Carol Smillie with bags of cash. Well, that last one might just be how we would spend the money.
In an attempt to understand how he landed this magnificent windfall, we spoke to CR to glean his secrets and live vicariously through his win. So describe in as much detail as possible how it happened.
It’s all over very quick! I hit a bonus round, clicked the lamp, it said ‘progressive’, then it went away, then up popped ‘Congratulations, you have won £2.2m!’. Then it was gone. I just sat there …”
Oh right. Sounds … er … thrilling.
Then I looked at my balance … there was a load of numbers I had to count them individually! I called my partner in to have a look but said to be quiet as the whole family were in the other room. She started screaming the house down! “OH MY GOD, YOU’VE WON 200K!!
But wait. We thought you won £2.2 million?
Calmly enough I said to her “No, That’s £2 million.”
Ah right. What happened then?
She said the colour had drained from my face, my heart was beating so fast! Everyone then ran in and we started celebrating.
One last question – do you need any more friends?
I was sitting down the pub the other day, and people were talking about the lotto and what would you do if you won it. I was just sat there thinking “I’ve just won £2.2m and it’s sitting in my bank account!”. But I couldn’t say anything! Honestly, it still hasn’t hit me … I’m a millionaire! I can’t be this lucky!
So that’s a no, then?
Paddy Power, spokesperson for Paddy Power said:
We have a slots machines? That’s gas! Actual slots machines? That’s amazing. How do they fit them into the computers? And the staff for giving your buckets of change. You never see them going in and out of the computer. Oh wait … I know how they do it. You must have thought I sounded very thick just there, but I know where I went wrong … they do it at night! BOOM! Nailed it. God, I could have ended up looking really stupid there.
So there you have it. Play Genie Jackpots one Paddy Power Games. It’s great and we guarantee you’ll become a multi-millionaire with just a few clicks. No wait, we can’t guarantee that. You MAY become a multi-millionaire with just a few clicks. You may not actually become a millionaire, but as CR’s story tells us, we never know.