A quick recap for those of you who didn’t pay enough attention to Religion in school. At Mount Sinai, God gave Moses two stone tablets with the 10 Commandments on them. These included, for example, ‘Thou shalt not kill’, ‘Though shalt not steal’, ‘Though shalt honour thy father and thy mother’. And so forth.
What you might not remember is the 11th Commandment, which God gave to Paul Heyman on Monday night RAW:
Thou shalt not intentionally provoke Brock Lesnar
It’s a solid piece of advice. The Beast is a 6ft 3in, 286lb, slab of concrete who would undoubtedly leave us begging for mercy if he ever heard what we’ve been saying about his tiny peanut-shaped head. Lesnar is set to compete in the main event at Fastlane against Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns for a WWE Heavyweight title shot at WrestleMania.
Paul Heyman spent the early part of RAW bigging up his client, Brock Lesnar, and insulting his Fastlane opponents. This is water off a back to Roman Reigns who is clearly used to getting insulted by other wrestlers, managers and fans, but Dean Ambrose wasn’t so keen to be called a ‘nut-job’ and a ‘wacko’. The Lunatic Fringe came down to the ring, looked Brock Lesnar in the eye, invited the Beast to take him to ‘Suplex City’, and then dropped the mic and left while Brock laughed off the whole exchange and flexed his super-human shoulders.
All was well and good until Triple H bumped into Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman backstage later in the evening. Triple H took out his trusty wooden spoon and asked Brock why Ambrose was able to get ‘all up in his grill’ without getting a slap across the chops. We may have taken some poetic licence there, but you get the idea. The Champ’s meddling would result in an angry Beast later in the evening…
Luckily for WWE fans everywhere The New Day headlined RAW, and our unicorn friends were set to take on Ambrose and Reigns in a tag match. Unfortunately it wasn’t to be for Kofi Kingston and Big E, with the tag team champs going down to a Superman Punch from Reigns and a Dirty Deeds from Ambrose. However, they did get to have a bit of sing-song before the bout so we know who the real winner is.
The match itself was fairly uneventful compared to the aftermath. Seconds after the bell had rung to signal the end of the match, Brock Lesnar’s music hit, and the Beast strolled towards the squared-circle. We’d like to say that he was coming down to offer his hearty congratulations to Reigns and Ambrose on a hard-fought victory, but unfortunately this is WWE RAW and like a lad leaving Oceana in white trainers and a Fred Perry polo, he was clearly looking for a scrap.
Before Brock could get involved however The New Day re-entered the ring to avenge their loss. A few cheap digs here and there ended up with Kofi and Roman Reigns rolling to the outside and with Dean Ambrose shell-shocked in the ring, in came Brock to hit him with an F5.
As the cameras stopped rolling on RAW, Brock Lesnar stood tall in the ring as his Fastlane opponents lay scattered inside and outside of the ring. Will it be the same story in just over a fortnight’s time?